Warning: certain individuals WILL find this article offensive
Was that you who just took a picture of your breakfast plate at IHOP? You know, the one with the pancakes, strawberries and whip cream… the breakfast plate you thought was so extraordinary that you were compelled to post it on Instagram and share it with all of your friends. And in that same picture you so aptly included the caption “mmmm, loving my breakfast” with the hash tags #breakingthefast #ilovepancakes #NomNomNom. That was you, right? Well guess what? I have some advice. GET A LIFE! You’re a self-absorbed loser. Stop taking pictures of your food and just eat it! None of your friends give a rat’s ass about your 1500 calorie breakfast of sugar anyway.
mmmm, loving my breakfast
#breakingthefast #ilovepancakes #NomNomNom
Social media is similar to alcohol; so long as it’s used in moderation then it’s okay… unfortunately, just like with alcohol, millions of people have abused it to the point where they are living virtual realities.
Millions of people with a Twitter or YouTube account think the world needs to know their every move. Either that, or they think they are just one iPhone recording away from posting that viral video that’s going to make them the big bucks. Or they are so insecure and miserable in reality, so desperate for reassurance, that they feel every aspect of their life needs to be posted on Facebook in hopes of receiving a ‘Like’ from Suzy (the cute girl who sits across the aisle from them in their Liberal Arts class of Sociology for The Lost).
For a recent and appalling example of just how bizarre and lost some people have become in the social media world, which leads me to believe they must have wet brain, take a look at this shocking video below:
Can you believe that?
An elderly woman crashes into a building, nearly severely injuring a shopper, and quite possibly herself, and the first thing that comes to the minds of some onlookers is to pull their phones out and start filming the wreckage. One of the bozos who pulled out his phone and set it to video recorder thought to himself ‘the hell with the elderly lady inside the car that just crashed through this building; I’m filming this for my YouTube channel…maybe it’ll go viral. I could be famous!’
The ‘Me’ Generation finds itself in a sad state. I’m going to venture and guess that two thirds of this generation is addicted to social media, to one degree or another. Many of these addicts have no clue how to live life to the fullest anymore. They can’t enjoy the moment unless they make sure every one of their social media friends knows what they ate for dinner, or what movie they just watched while eating Cool Ranch Doritos all alone and sprawled out in their pajamas on the couch. And they’re all alone much of the time because they have no social skills. That’s right – their addiction to ‘social media’ has given them inept communication skills. Holding an actual face to face conversation is far too difficult of a task for these addicts.
If you’re one of those people who posts images of your meals every time you go out for lunch with a friend, then please take my advice and just stop doing it. Think for a second. That friend of yours sitting across the table is there with you, hoping to have a nice time. They’re sitting there, staring at the ceiling and feeling very unimportant, as you take a picture of your double bacon cheeseburger and post it online for all your other friends to see. What kind of message does that send to your friend at the table? If I was that friend my assumption would be that I’m not as important as your cyber friends. It tells me that you’re not all that interested in me, and it’s just lame anyway because, as I mentioned, even your cyber friends don’t care about a bacon cheeseburger.
The ‘duckface’
Now, if your friend across the table is simultaneously taking a picture of her meal, then you both are too far gone for me to help. Perhaps, for your next outing, the two of you should do a joint session at Social Media Anonymous.
Social Media Anonymous – Click Here for Your Intro
And then there are those people who only post pictures of themselves heavily intoxicated as they headlock another
The ‘duckface’ friend and lift a beer to the sky. Come on guys; portraying yourself as an alcoholic is not cool, and there is a decent possibility that your boss – or potential employer – may at some point visit your page. Or how about those people who constantly take selfies while doing the duckface. Ladies, don’t pretend you haven’t done a duckface or two…
Who thought of that pose anyway? I think it originated from Zoolander and it’s likely a spin-off of the infamous ‘blue steel’…
I digress.
Bottom line: Stop taking a picture of everything. If you are truly enjoying the moment, and living life, you shouldn’t be thinking about which filter will make your food/new outfit/new BFF look the best. Stop documenting every aspect of your life and start living it.
Stay hungry,
Aaron
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